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Typical, you wait ages for a Noel and then three come along at once.
Unfortunately, Mr Edmonds, 59, is recklessly undoing all the good work Mr Fielding and Mr Gallagher, 40, have done for the name.
And this simply will not do. So we did the decent thing and assisted our favourite two Noels in their plot to murder the bearded sharer of their moniker.
We headed out after the premiere of the Rolling Stones’ rockumentary Shine A Light for grave discussions about how to dispose of the Eighties burp’s jazzy-shirted corpse.
Fortunately, Noel’s brother Liam, 35, saved himself from being implicated in the inevitable investigation by shooting off to the Met Bar with his wife Nicole Appleton, 33.
Fielding told the First Noel: “We’re the only relevant Noels, now that Noel Coward’s dead. So we need to kill Edmonds. There’s no room for him.”
The Oasis legend’s monobrow shot to the deepest south as he mused on this.
And he pointed out that to the better half of the nation, Noel’s House Party means the sort of rock’n’roll debauchery that causes bruises.
But there will always be those who associate it with Mr Blobby, gunge tanks and Z-list guests wielding bad gags.
Sign
He concluded: “Murder; that’ll be a big bonding experience.”
As well as a Christian name and homicidal feelings towards naff presenters, the two mentalists also share the same Gemini star sign along with our very own schizophrenic columnist Amy Watts.
And with a heroic amount of pink shots and Charli’s squiffy reasoning, we tooled up Fielding, 34, and sent him off to Crinkly Bottom.
But looking at this picture in the cold light of day, we finally accepted Fielding won’t be able to blow-dry Edmonds to death.
Source: www.dailystar.co.uk
