Why All Football Songs Are "Complete Shit", By Mr Noel Gallagher

From the current issue of the NME (ON SALE NOW)

Hi, Noel! What's your favourite football song?

"Fortunately they're all complete shit. There has never been a good World Cup song."

What, not even 'World In Motion'?

"Ah, but that wasn't really a World Cup song, was it? That was just a song they had lying around. It was. You heard it here first! I mean, apart from the rap... Yeah, I suppose I'm having that one."

What if Carlos Tévez released one with his band?

"I have heard them lots actually. What are they like? Well, they're influenced by my former band so they've got impeccable taste. I'll give them that."

Extract from an interview with Russell Brand and Serge Pizzorno in the same issue:

NME: Is there much in common with the crowds you attract and football crowds?

Russell: "I bet with Kasabian fans you get a big crossover, right?"

Serge: "Yeah, it's good for that. I prefer it, it's far better than the chin-scratchers. It's nice to have people going mental, having the best time ever."

Russell: "My fans have to listen. And they're mostly girls. I go, 'Can you please listen, this is a very delicate joke, please don't scream over it.' It's nothing like football. But some bands do appeal to that demographic."

Like I've made the mistake of doing gigs with Noel Gallagher before. I done this gig once at KOKO, a thousand-seater venue. I thought, 'Probably the audience will be split 50/50 between good old Russell Brand comedy fans and Oasis fans.' I thought, 'I'll go out, do 15 minutes at the top and then bring out Noel.' So I walked out and... (yells) 'OASIS! OASIS! OASIS!' (laughs) So my 15 minutes just went to '...Welcome Noel Gallagher!' I thought, 'Fuck that!' There's no way I was going to try and chisel out some jokes from that wall of hooliganism. They were there for him. I go to him before, 'Are you a bit nervous mate, 'cos I'm a bit nervous.' (puts on Noel voice) 'Fuckin' thousand people, try Knebworth, four hundred thousand.'"

Next week's NME includes a competition to win Oasis ipod gear.

Thanks to Dougie as always.

Pre-order 'Time Flies... 1994-2009' and win some signed exclusive album artwork, more details here.