Showing posts with label Winston Churchill. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Winston Churchill. Show all posts

Noel Gallagher On Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher, Boris Johnson And More

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Noel Gallagher explains why he regrets posing with Tony Blair, prefers Thatcher to today’s politicians – and rejects the idea of working-class guilt.

Do you regret endorsing Tony Blair or New Labour?

Nah, not really. It was a great time in history. The grip of Thatcherism was being smashed. New Labour had been brilliant in opposition. When Tony Blair spoke, his words seemed to speak to people, young people. Call me naive but I felt something – I’m not quite sure what it was, but I felt it all the same. I do regret that picture at No 10 that night, though . . . I can still smell the cheese!

Would you go for tea with David Cameron?

Maybe. He looks like he could do with a good strong cup of Yorkshire. I don’t mind him, to be honest. No one actually takes him seriously, do they? All that “call me Dave” gear – hilarious.

Which politicians do you admire/despise?

Not many. What’s to admire, anyway – the way they fiddle their expenses? If I have to, though, I’d say: Winston Churchill, for his name alone. Dennis Skinner, because he absolutely takes no shit off the toffs, and Tony Blair because he played guitar and smoked a bit of weed (allegedly!). Somewhat predictably, the despise list is a bit longer. I won’t go into it here, I haven’t got all day, but in the interests of fairness and balance I’ll say . . . off the top of my head: Diane Abbott, [Ken] Clarke, Portillo, Boris-f***ing-Johnson, that little ginger bitch that ceremoniously gave back the money she’d fiddled during the expenses scandal, Norman Tebbit! Peter Mandelson! George-f***ing-Osborne. If I don’t stop now, this could literally go on longer than Be Here Now.

Who would you vote for if there were an election tomorrow?

I’m not sure I would vote. I didn’t feel last time that there was anything left to vote for. Doesn’t seem that anything has changed, ergo . . . ?

Do you think you pay your fair amount of tax as a rich person?

No. I think we should return to the Sixties when we paid 80 per cent tax so government can piss it up the wall on the war machine and bailing out the banks and funding ludicrous “initiatives” to help “stimulate” the economy. The economy that successive governments oversaw the destruction of. I think I pay just about enough, thanks . . . and you?

Do you believe in God?

Sadly no. And I don’t believe in the devil either. Or ghosts. Or Father Christmas, for that matter.

How do you feel when you see politicians at public events?

Public events I don’t have a problem with. Although when you see them backstage at Glastonbury you are thinking: “Really, just f*** off.” I’m amazed “Dave” hasn’t popped down for the weekend to get down with the middle classes. When I see them at (for want of a better term) showbiz events, that really winds me up. We were at the GQ Awards recently and the gaff was crawling with them; they were even giving speeches and getting awards. Boris-f***ing-Johnson got an award for “Politician of the Year”. I was speechless an award like that even exists, and he was boasting – in a Nineties rock-star full-of-cheng style – at how brilliant he must be due to the fact that he’d won the same award three times. Will.i.(haven’t got a f***ing clue) Hague was there while that crisis in Syria was blowing up.

I genuinely thought these people would have more important things to be getting on with. Clearly, scratching the back of said magazine and its editor takes precedence over all. Shameful behaviour. Though not as shameful as ours, eh, Rusty?

Did you trust politicians in the Seventies and Eighties more than contemporary figures such as Osborne or Ed Balls?

You could trust them in the sense that you knew exactly where you stood with them. Neil Kinnock, for example: no grey areas. He knew who he was and what he stood for. Thatcher, even. We knew she was the enemy. She hated us; we hated her. All was right in the world.

This new generation are media opportunists, shilly-shallying flag-wavers, the musical equivalent of Enya. If they were a colour, they’d be beige.

I have no doubt that George Osborne would’ve practised his weeping the night before Thatcher’s funeral. He might be the most slappable man in England, the kind of man that would watch Coronation Street or EastEnders to get a perspective on the working class.

Ed Balls can quite frankly lick mine on his way to and from obscurity.

Whom will you tell your sons to vote for?

Politics will surely be dead as a f***ing parrot by the time the two young lords get the vote.

Source: www.newstatesman.com

Liam Gallagher, Noel Gallagher, Barack Obama: Who Is The Master Of The Put-Down?

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Few of us are blessed with the wit and wisdom to deliver a withering one-line put-down quite like these celebrities who prove they are the best at saying the worst.

There have been many exquisite comebacks down the years, but one man was first among equals: Wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill.

During his time in Parliament he often had occasion to square up to Conservative Lady Astor, first female MP and renowned wit.

Whether Lady Astor’s penchant for attacking Winnie was personal - he was a cigar-chomping renowned drinker and occasional sexist - their verbal their scuffles were dynamite.

Churchill emerged triumphant in a poll of 2,000 Britons to find history’s funniest insults to mark the release of “Behind the Candelabra” about the life Liberace, a man as famous for his acerbic wit as his outlandish lifestyle and outrageous stage outfits.

Meanwhile, famously articulate Churchill was as well-known for his scathing quips and dry sense of humour as he was the inspirational speeches he delivered during the Second World War.

He emerged triumphant in the survey after two of his best put-downs made it into the top ten, securing top spot for the line he delivered to Lady Astor, saying: “I may be drunk, miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

Celebrity commentator Mark Frith said: “The art of the put-down was clearly mastered by the great wits of the 20th Century including Winston Churchill and Liberace.

“The war of words between figures in the public eye has long been a source of great entertainment for the public and it continues with the likes of Piers Morgan, Lord Sugar and Cheryl Cole trading insults and using the media or Twitter as their battleground.”

1. Winston Churchill to Lady Astor: “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

2. Barack Obama (in response to Sarah Palin’s joke that the only difference between a pitbull and a soccer mum was lipstick) “You can put lipstick on a pig… it’s still a pig.”

3. Liberace to a critic: “Thank you for your very amusing review. After reading it… I laughed all the way to the bank.”

4. Noel Gallagher on Robbie Williams: “You mean that fat dancer from Take That?”

5. Winston Churchill (on being disturbed in his toilet after a call from the Lord Privy Seal): “Tell him I can only deal with one s**t at a time.”

6. Frank Sinatra on Robert Redford: “Well at least he has found his true love – what a pity he can’t marry himself.”

7. Elizabeth Taylor: “Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.”

8. Groucho Marx: “She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.”

9. Bette Midler on Princess Anne: “She loves nature, in spite of what it did to her.”

10. Liam Gallagher on Victoria Beckham: “She can’t even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book.”





















Source: express.co.uk
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