Few of us are blessed with the wit and wisdom to deliver a withering one-line put-down quite like these celebrities who prove they are the best at saying the worst.
There have been many exquisite comebacks down the years, but one man was first among equals: Wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill.
During his time in Parliament he often had occasion to square up to Conservative Lady Astor, first female MP and renowned wit.
Whether Lady Astor’s penchant for attacking Winnie was personal - he was a cigar-chomping renowned drinker and occasional sexist - their verbal their scuffles were dynamite.
Churchill emerged triumphant in a poll of 2,000 Britons to find history’s funniest insults to mark the release of “Behind the Candelabra” about the life Liberace, a man as famous for his acerbic wit as his outlandish lifestyle and outrageous stage outfits.
Meanwhile, famously articulate Churchill was as well-known for his scathing quips and dry sense of humour as he was the inspirational speeches he delivered during the Second World War.
He emerged triumphant in the survey after two of his best put-downs made it into the top ten, securing top spot for the line he delivered to Lady Astor, saying: “I may be drunk, miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Celebrity commentator Mark Frith said: “The art of the put-down was clearly mastered by the great wits of the 20th Century including Winston Churchill and Liberace.
“The war of words between figures in the public eye has long been a source of great entertainment for the public and it continues with the likes of Piers Morgan, Lord Sugar and Cheryl Cole trading insults and using the media or Twitter as their battleground.”
1. Winston Churchill to Lady Astor: “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
2. Barack Obama (in response to Sarah Palin’s joke that the only difference between a pitbull and a soccer mum was lipstick) “You can put lipstick on a pig… it’s still a pig.”
3. Liberace to a critic: “Thank you for your very amusing review. After reading it… I laughed all the way to the bank.”
4. Noel Gallagher on Robbie Williams: “You mean that fat dancer from Take That?”
5. Winston Churchill (on being disturbed in his toilet after a call from the Lord Privy Seal): “Tell him I can only deal with one s**t at a time.”
6. Frank Sinatra on Robert Redford: “Well at least he has found his true love – what a pity he can’t marry himself.”
7. Elizabeth Taylor: “Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.”
8. Groucho Marx: “She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.”
9. Bette Midler on Princess Anne: “She loves nature, in spite of what it did to her.”
10. Liam Gallagher on Victoria Beckham: “She can’t even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book.”
Source: express.co.uk
Andy Bell
