Noel Gallagher made his weekly appearance on Andy Goldstein’s Sports Bar last night (25 April) and spoke about the following:
Andy Goldstein: On last week’s show I said, ‘What have you got that’s exciting?’, and you said, ‘Something, but I can’t remember’...
Noel: “Yeah, I went to go and buy a suit. I didn’t get one cos I went... you.. obviously no one else knows this, but you said, ‘Oh Id go and see a guy’ blah blah, which is not really the best recommendation I’ve ever had in my life is the fashion which is Andy Goldstein, ‘Go and see my guy’- whatever, and he said to me, ‘It’s a guy called Terence Trout’, right, now that’s not a real name, I said to him, I’m not having that, there’s nobody born with a name Terence Trout, anyway, I went to Trouty’s gaff, right, and unfortunately the minute I walked in I got a phone call, me alarm was going off on me handset and I had to leg it, so I’ve not been back, so I didn’t get the suit.”
“Dr Octogon” theme tune:
Andy Goldstein: I got a letter which says,’Hi Andy and Jason, and greetings, Dr Octogon, shame the Dr Octogon jingle was deemed below par, so I’ve composed one myself.’ I’ve not heard this....
Noel: “Is this from Our Kid? It’s not from our Liam?”
(Play new Dr Octogon jingle)
Noel: “This guy obviously doesn’t understand the fundamental laws of jingles – they’re supposed to be short and sweet. That sounded like the drums of Burundi.... That’s rubbish.”
Andy Goldstein: He’s sent in a CD cover with your face on the front as Dr Octogon (link here: http://twitpic.com/1igyfd) I’ll send it to you, I’ll keep it... it’s unbelievable!
Noel: “Do me a favour – do not put it on your website!”
Andy Goldstein: Too late, it’s on Twitter already! The picture’s like you have just been told what’s on the TV.
Noel: “I tell you what – every time I’m stopped in the street by people, you know like autograph hunters that carry pictures?, every single picture that I sign of myself I look absolutely miserable.” “I can’t stand having me picture taken, it really, really nauses me up, I hate it.”
Man City
Noel: “I thought it all kinda went to plan yesterday, I thought Tottenham would get beat and I hoped we’d get a draw, but em, it’s all, if we win the next three games, it’s ours, but the big game is the Tottenham game, innit?, you know, but saying that, you’ve got to get past Villa, they’re still in it.” “I think next weekend decides everything – the Championship and 4th place, I think if we beat Tottenham we’ll do it because West Ham now haven’t got anything to play for, they’ll just be up for a kick about with Tevez.” “We don’t play Spurs til the Wednesday, we’ve got three games in that week, we play Villa Saturday, then Spurs on the Wednesday and then West Ham on the Sunday, it’s tough, plus we’ve got the Faroe Islands reserve goalkeeper!” “To be honest, the only positive I can take out of it is that he was a Mark Hughes signing, and Mark Hughes has signed some pretty good players for us. I thought he was just some... well, I don’t know where I thought they got him from, but apparently Mark Hughes kinda spotted him.” (Were you surprised, with all the money they have that goalkeeper wasn’t one of the areas they covered?) “Well, the lad Taylor we got from Villa has had his cartilage taken out, so it’s all been about the last couple of weeks, hasn’t it? But, you know, to be honest if I was City I’d be on the phone to Birmingham and saying, ‘Look, if he doesn’t come back in the next 48 hours, you’re not getting him next season.’” (I don’t think you can do that.) “We can do anything!! We’re owned by the Sheikh!! He owns the world, right, so we can do anything!”
Title Race
Noel: “Well, Liverpool have got the big game on Thursday, haven’t they?, so hopefully that’ll go to extra time and they’ll all be resting players, I can’t see Chelsea... if Chelsea would have just scraped it today, maybe the confidence would have been gone, but I think... what was it?,5-0?, I switched it off after 3-0.... What? 7-0? Well, it’s in the bag, really, innit?” (I don’t think Liverpool will want to win the game) “Regardless of that, Liverpool are not good enough to beat Chelsea... Liverpool are not good enough to draw against Chelsea, not when they are going for the double, I just don’t see it happening. I had a mate of mine, right, he’s a Liverpool fan and he’s texting me like, today, that they beat Burnley, and he’s like, ‘We’re still in it!”, and it’s like, look, even if City slip up, you’ve still got to beat Tottenham, right, you’ve still got to get more points than Tottenham, City and Tottenham aren’t going to slip up, and then you’ve still got to pass Villa – it’s not gonna happen! It’s not gonna happen, I mean the best they can hope for is winning the Uefa Cup, innit? I’d say if they won the Uefa Cup, that would be a great season for them, considering what’s happened.”
His trip to the Emirates on Saturday:
Noel: “I went to the Emirates on Saturday, and I ended up getting tickets for the directors box, I tell you, just let me list the people who were sat on my row... Fabio Capello, I didn’t speak to him, he looks a bit moody, do you know what I mean?, there was him, Stuart Pearce, Sven and his new bird – she’s not as nice as Nancy, but who is?, she’s alright, though, Terry Neill, Liam Brady, obviously all our Chief Executives and all that mob, and, this is the curve ball – Floella Benjamin! She’s Sven’s new bird! I was like, hang on a minute, England manager, Stuart Pearce – legend, yeah, all that, then, oh!, hello...” (Was she laughing by any chance?) “No, she was asleep like the rest of us. It was terrible, terrible, the best part of the game was when Adebayor came on, at least everyone livened up.”
Andy Goldstein: Are you going out to South Africa for the World Cup?
Noel: “I’m going.... well, I’ll tell you a story, I was gonna go but my missus is pregnant, right?, which is a bit of a bungle, really, cos we should’ve waited until after the World Cup, you know what I mean?, so I was planning on going, not for the month but anyway, I said, ‘Look, if they get to the semis... you know, I’m gonna go.’, and she started laughing, she’s like, ‘Semi finals? haha Yeah, whatever! Yeah, you can go!” So if they get there I’m gonna go for the last kinda few days, but I’m not really planning on it, to be honest. To be quite honest, getting around that country’s going to be really, really difficult, I don’t think they’ve got the infrastructure to deal with it.”
Plans for this week:
Noel: “I’ve got a wedding on Saturday, I’m going to be going, minus new suit. Then I’m getting my haircut, hopefully tomorrow.... eh, and then.... eh, I think that’s about, yeah, that’s it. You know what, last Sunday when I put the phone down and I thought, ‘Right, I’m gonna keep a diary of what I’ve done this week.’, and I kinda, I feel like I’m letting people down, I think like I should be telling people I walk around in a cape and a top hat, you know, but I kinda... I don’t do a great deal, I feel like I let people down when I’m in the queue at Waitrose, you know, buying stir-frys and stuff, you know what I mean?” (It’s not very rock n roll!) “No, it’s wok n roll!”
Thanks as always to Dougie
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